This cockney slag who sells flowers (a euphemism for dirty stinking East-end prostitute) is befriended by a gent named Henry Higgins who, rather than pay her a few quid for a quick bit of business from behind against an alley wall in view of carriage traffic on the Pentonville Road, decides to take her in and turn her into a lady and introduce her to society- before then deciding to fuck her.
But Eliza, who now can tell everyone that the plains have higher than average precipitation than other areas on the Iberian Peninsula (that’s fucking clever, I hope you all get it), ends up being a using coont and decides that she doesn’t need the man who quite possibly saved her from being garrotted by Jack the Ripper for being the filthy two-quid whore she is.
Nominated by Palais via Twitter who, in a series of Tweets writes: “No, just YOU fucking wait Eliza. Henry Higgins was nothing but fucking nice to you, you ungrateful fucking cow. You were a fucking flower girl FFS, so don’t get your fucking knickers in a twist just because someone was nice enough to try and drag you out of the gutter, where quite frankly you will always belong.”
I’d love to see what Palais thinks of that filthy watersport-loving skank Mary Poppins.








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